Between Two Lungs
by Annemarieke
Summary: After Edward leaves Bella, she becomes depressed. Jacob befriends her,but leaves her too. She does not know how to go on.  Features suicide. AU, OneShot.


She was standing on the highest cliff. The La Push guys jumped from these cliffs for fun, but what she was planning on doing had nothing to do with fun, entertainment, or even to feel the rush of adrenaline surging through her veins.

She just wanted sweet relief.

It began at her birthday. Edward –it still hurt to think his name, but she allowed herself to think, to feel, and to remember him- became distant after Jasper tried to drink her blood. She knew he couldn't help it, but she didn't think the paper cut made it happen. She concluded it had to be the large gash at the crook of her elbow, but the family left, and Edward seemed to keep her away.

After a few days of strange behavior, Edward took her to the woods, 'for a walk', and told her he didn't want her anymore. That he didn't love her. That she was merely a distraction.

He told her she'd forget him, as her human brains were like a sieve, and he asked her to take care of herself for Charlie's sake.

Edward ran away, and she tried to chase him, through the woods, and kept walking, running and falling until nightfall. At last, she fell, and curled up in a little ball.

To die.

She didn't want to live without Edward, and she knew she was nothing but a burden to everyone, but she was found, shivering and in shock, by Jacob Black.

After a while, Bella got out of her catatonic state, and became friends with Jacob.

She was able to produce a good facade for everyone, even though no one really got close to her.

Jacob Black became her own personal sun, and she was able to smile again.

She found a reason to live again.

Jacob Black had a crush on her, but her heart still belonged to Edward, so she tried to keep Jake at bay.

But then, he changed.

He got a little more temperamental, his body-temperature got higher, and wasn't the relaxed, laid-back Jake she knew.

He got 'ill'.

Jacob disappeared for a while, but when he came back, he told her they couldn't be friends, or more.

It broke her heart.

Again.

It still hadn't mended after Edward's shattering, but it lost a few pieces now.

She didn't feel worthy of having a life.

No one loved her, and all she did was hurt people.

She knew the world would be better without her.

Now, she was standing here, on the ledge.

All she had to do was jump.

Everything would be over. No one would be hurt, and no one had to leave her again.

Every one she knew would have a better life.

An easier life.

All the pain, the absence of her heart, her lungs, the agony of loneliness.

Death would be easy, painless, blissful.

Life was harder.

She stepped a little closer to the edge, and as she did so, a few rocks fell from the cliff, and bounced down 'till they hit the water. They disappeared.

She longed to be like them, and closed her eyes.

This close to death, she allowed herself to think about HIM, and was flooded with memories. Good ones, and bad ones.

She thought about the first time she saw him in the sun, the first time they kissed, the angel's voice when James almost killed her, her birthday, and finally, when he left her in the woods.

She remembered it all, and thinking about it, it felt as if her soul was being ripped from her body.

But she didn't care.

She remembered Alice, and Carlisle, Esmé, Emmett, Jacob, Jasper, and even Rosalie.

She thought about Charlie, Renée, and Phil.

Her friends from school: Angela, Mike, Jessica.

But most of all, memories of Edward came seeping through.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I love you."

Then, she jumped.

During her fall, she kept her eyes shut, and enjoyed the speed, the feeling of her hair being whipped around her face.

She remembered running with her soul mate.

As she hit the water, the power pushed the oxygen from her lungs, and her eyes flew open.

Everything was black, but instead of hearing the water whoosh around her, she heard her lullaby. The lovely notes and chords, the sweet tones lulled her to sleep.

Her lungs were burning, but she paid no attention to it.

All she saw was Edward, swimming towards her, but as she tried to touch her, she fell asleep.

Never to wake up again.

It was a sad gathering. Everyone was dressed in black, and everyone with the ability to cry, cried.

Everyone who knew her was here.

The Cullens, the wolf pack, people from town, kids from school, Charlie, Phil, and a pregnant Renée.

Everyone was grieving the loss of Isabella Marie Swan.

Especially Edward Cullen.

If vampires had the ability to cry, he would.

He looked dead, but not in the way a vampire usually does.

He looked like the world had ended, but in his case, it probably had.

He still loved her, more than his own life, but he left for her own safety.

In his eyes, there was so much pain, no, agony, that any one who'd look him in the eye, would immediately be depressed.

Jacob Black was here too. He felt incredibly guilty, but also felt depressed. He really loved the lifeless, brown-haired girl in the coffin.

When the ceremony would be over, he'd change into a wolf.

Never to change back.

As Bella's body was being lowered into the ground, Edward, who had been standing before, fell onto his knees, and sobbed into his hands. Jacob ran to the woods, and Renée let her tear-streaked face fall on Phil's shoulder.

The rest of the gathered looked down.

When it was over, Edward apologized to Bella's parents, and ran away. First, at human speed, but after that, with superhuman quickness.

He went to Italy, where Aro decided to end his misery, as he saw in Edward's mind how his world made no sense without Bella.


End file.
